• JRD

Boost Your Confidence, Change Your Life

Self-confidence is linked to almost every element involved in a happy and fulfilling life. Do you want to get ahead in life? Do you want to take the risks that can help you achieve your dreams? Of course, you do. And gaining confidence may allow you to do both.

Confidence may seem like a small thing, but it can have a huge impact on your life. It can help you get a new job in a market saturated with the unemployed, or possibly start your own business and finally be your own boss. High self-confidence will impact your work life and your personal life.

The Benefits Of Self-Confidence


You’ll be less stressed out.

When you don’t have to worry about whether you did something right or not, you will be ridding yourself of a whole ton of stress.

You’ll perform better.


Whether you’re completing personal or job-related tasks, you will do a better job when you are confident in what you’re doing.


You won’t spend your life avoiding conflict.

When you believe in yourself, you’ll be able to tackle all problems and challenges head-on–something you wouldn’t even dare to attempt if you had low self-confidence.


People will like you more.

When you believe in yourself, it shows. And people love that. You’ll make a great impression because you’ll seem more competent, and people will be reassured in your presence.


Your life will be more exciting.

You’ll take chances and risks instead of just sliding by. You’ll live life on the edge, because you know you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

You’ll bounce back after failure.


You’ll deal with rejection better, and it won’t sting nearly as much. You’ll pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get right back into the game.


You will have less fear and anxiety

The more confident you become, the more you’ll be able to calm the voice inside you that says, “I can’t do it.” You’ll be able to unhook from your thoughts, quiet your inner critic, and take action in line with your values.


You will have greater motivation

As your confidence grows, you’ll find yourself more driven to stretch your abilities. Building confidence means taking small steps that leave a lasting sense of accomplishment. If you think back to a key accomplishment in your life, you’ll likely find that it took a lot of perseverance. If you could triumph through adversity then, you can do it in other areas of your life where you feel self-doubt.


You will be more resilient

Confidence gives you the skills and coping methods to handle setbacks and failures. Self-confidence doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes fail. But you’ll know you can handle challenges and not be crippled by them. As you keep pushing yourself to try new things, you’ll start to truly understand how failure and mistakes lead to growth. An acceptance that failure is part of life will start to take root. Paradoxically, by being more willing to fail, you'll actually succeed more — because you're not waiting for everything to be 100 percent perfect before you act.


You will have improved relationships

When you’re confident you finally have a healthy relationship. Because the foundation of any relationship you have is a good one you have with yourself. You don’t tolerate mistreatment or games. You just stop associating with anyone who still is about that. You focus on the person who wants to focus on you.


It might seem counterintuitive, but when you have more self-confidence, you’re less focused on yourself. You'll enjoy your interactions more because you won't be so worried about the kind of impression you're making, and you won’t be comparing yourself to others. Your relaxed state will put others at ease as well, helping you forge deeper connections.


Self-confidence can also breed deeper empathy. When you’re fully present, you’re more likely to notice that your date seems to be a little down, or that a friend in the corner looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. When you’re not preoccupied with your own self-doubt, you can be the person who reaches out to help others.

When you are confident you stop giving yourself to people who aren’t reciprocating what you have to offer. To value yourself means other people will and to be confident means walking away from people you might love and adore but knowing if they don’t feel the same way, you’re better off without them.

You will have a stronger sense of your authentic self

Confidence roots you in who you really are. You’ll be able to accept your weaknesses, knowing they don’t change your self-worth. You'll also be able to celebrate your strengths and use them more fully. Your actions will be in line with your principles, giving you a greater sense of purpose. You'll know who you are and what you stand for. You’ll have the skills to show up, stand up, and speak up. In other words, you'll be able to let your best self shine through.


When you’re confident you simply say no and don’t even explain why.


How To Be Confident In Yourself


Having a high self-confidence may have many benefits, but how can you make that happen? It’s not something you can just turn on and off.


That being said, there are several tips that can help you learn to believe in yourself, no matter what.


Know your strengths and weaknesses.

Write a list of strengths and weaknesses, and keep the same number of each. For every negative thing you can think of, there will be something positive to match it. This will get you in the habit of looking for strength in yourself every time you find a weakness.

Set goals for yourself.

Set short term goals that you can achieve, and not just long term goals. By achieving your goals you will feel better about yourself, and in what you can accomplish in the future.


Live in the now.

Make sure when you think of yourself, you judge yourself based on who you are right now, not who you were. Do not lament not being able to do something you used to, and be happy about what you can do now that you could not before.


Stop measuring your success based on the success of others.

Do not compare yourself to others. Remember: for each thing they do great, they have a weakness to match. Each person is unique and has his or her own strengths and weaknesses, including you.


Work on your happiness.

Ever feel extra down on yourself when you’re in a bad mood? It happens to everyone. When you are genuinely happy, you will feel better about your life and about yourself in general.


Determine what you want your future to look like.

Figure out what you want to do with your life. If you do not know what you want, you cannot figure out how to achieve it. You cannot be confident in your actions if you are not sure what they are serving to achieve.


Allow yourself to revel in your successes.

Create a list of things that you have accomplished. Add to the list whenever you accomplish something and review it often. This will provide regular, positive reinforcement in your life.


Life is full of challenges and there are times when it's difficult to keep our self-confidence up. Sit down right now and make a list of all the things in your life that you are thankful for, and another list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Once your lists are complete, post them on your refrigerator door, on the wall by your desk, on your bathroom mirror--somewhere where you can easily be reminded of what an amazing life you have and what an amazing person you really are. If you feel your self-confidence dwindling, take a look at those lists and let yourself feel and be inspired all over again by you.


Be prepared

Learn everything there is to know about your field, job, presentation--whatever is next on your "to conquer" list. If you are prepared and have the knowledge to back it up, your self-confidence will soar.


Surround yourself with a supportive tribe

This is the time to really evaluate your inner circle, including friends and family. This is a tough one, but it's time to seriously consider getting away from those individuals who put you down and shred your confidence.


When you’re confident you finally learn to let go of toxic people who do nothing but add drama and problems in your life. You let them go with the not explanation because you don’t owe them one.


When you’re confident you ignore the people who aren’t pushing you to the next level. You learn the meaning of quality over quantity and live by that.


When you’re confident you don’t care about negative things that people are saying about you. In fact, you don’t even hear anything at all because you aren’t listening to anything that’s negative or bringing you down.

Don't accept failure and get rid of the negative voices in your head

Never give up. Never accept failure. There is a solution to everything, so why would you want to throw in the towel? Make this your new mantra. Succeeding through great adversity is a huge confidence booster.


Low self-confidence is often caused by negative thoughts running through our minds on an endless track. If you are constantly bashing yourself and saying you're not good enough, aren't attractive enough, aren't smart enough or athletic enough, and on and on, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are becoming what you are preaching inside your head, and that's not good. The next time you hear that negativity in your head, switch it immediately to a positive affirmation and keep it up until it hits the caliber of a self-confidence boost.


Change your body language and your image

This is where posture, smiling, eye contact, and speech slowly come into play. Just the simple act of pulling your shoulders back gives others the impression that you are a confident person. Smiling will not only make you feel better but will make others feel more comfortable around you. Imagine a person with good posture and a smile and you'll be envisioning someone who is self-confident.


Look at the person you are speaking to, not at your shoes--keeping eye contact shows confidence. Last, speak slowly. Research has proved that those who take the time to speak slowly and clearly feel more self-confident and appear more self-confident to others. The added bonus is they will actually be able to understand what you are saying.


Go the extra mile and style your hair, give yourself a clean shave, and dress nicely. Not only will this make you feel better about yourself, but others are more likely to perceive you as successful and self-confident as well. A great tip: When you purchase a new outfit, practice wearing it at home first to get past any wardrobe malfunctions before heading out.



The Takeaway

Confidence is kind of tricky sometimes. It takes a bit of time to build.


It takes learning to love yourself for everyone who didn’t. It comes in being your own best friend when someone didn’t rise to the occasion.


It comes in having your own back and looking out for yourself which you learn isn’t selfish but what you need to do if you want a healthy life and healthy relationships.

Self-confidence is essential if you want to live your best life. Life will be better in so many ways when you start believing in yourself. You can either be your own worst enemy or your own biggest cheerleader.

Realize that it is a practice. It will not come easily at first, but as you gradually exert it into more and more niches of your everyday life, you will become better at being confident. Go out of your way to talk to more people, watch your posture and your tone. Stand up taller and don’t doubt whatever you are saying.


Becoming confident both in yourself and the life you lead will change everything. You won’t have bad relationships or drama. You won’t be upset over someone’s actions. Because at the end of the day you can only control yourself. But if you do it right how you treat yourself will reflect how others do.


Don’t get me wrong; it will not change your life in a day. But, slowly, people here and there will notice you radiating confidence. People will stop doubting your ideas. Stop fearing what others might see and doubt you, and present yourself so that no one could doubt a word that you say. The self-doubt, the negative thoughts, the failures will stop occurring, success will shine through. Because if you don’t believe in yourself and your abilities to accomplish your potential, who else will?

© 2017 by Unlimited Potential with Julie Rose, Julie R Delgado, LLC